It’s three o'clock Thursday the 12th of March ’20. We are waiting (not just me and John, the whole country is waiting) to hear a big announcement by Boris Johnson at 4:15 about measures needed to be put in place to control the coronavirus over the coming weeks. We expected this news much earlier; Jeremy Vine said at the beginning of his Radio 2 program today that an announcement would be made at 1:15. Now, I've got three theories about why this delay is happening!
Number one.
On the midday news it was announced that all schools and colleges are closing in Ireland until the 29th of March. As a result of this Boris may have had to reconsider his plan of action. If he hadn't intended closing schools he may well be doing so now. Coronavirus or no coronavirus, politics will always rear its head. Boris couldn't have Leo Varadkar telling him what he should or shouldn't have done. I'm sure Boris wants to be in the history books as the greatest Mr Fixit when it comes to domestic matters. I don't mean his own domestic matters now - he's made a right cock-up of those - I mean the country’s domestic matters!
Theory no 2
If the announcement had been made at lunchtime it would have been the spur to get all us oldies driving to the supermarket again to panic buy. There are no toilet rolls or tissues left so it would be an attack on the
tinned baked beans and pasta aisles (there are still some left) before demolishing the bread aisle. Now Boris is kindly thinking of the workforce and what they're having for their tea tonight. He wants the next phase of panic buying to be a pleasure for all pensioners and workers alike.
Theory 3
This is the most significant theory for the reason behind the delay. John and myself know only too
well what happens in a school when you announce even the most minor change to the school day; there is uproar. If you announce that the school is going to close early because of snow all hell breaks out. Now if
you can imagine 1000 or so teenagers - the average population of a school - bubbling with delight and excitement because they're getting an hour or so off lessons, can you imagine what it would be like when you tell them that they have two weeks off? I reckon Headteachers all over the country have rung Boris and asked that if he is going to close schools please please not to announce it while students are on the premises. If it was announced at lunchtime there is no way any teacher could get through the afternoon lessons without cracking up. No youngster would pay attention or listen to anything you would try to teach them. Now many - probably all - teachers will be going around with their regular very disapproving faces saying things like “How am I expected to get my year 11 through their exams?” and so on but privately they’d be rubbing their hands with glee and muttering to themselves “Oh my God, two glorious weeks of a sleep-in every morning and loads of extra time to do that pile of marking and planning I never seem to have time to do.”
Well, yeah, I may be way off beam with my theories, folks - we’ll soon know, but I enjoyed writing about them. Seriously now I hope you will all be OK. I'm rather anxious myself for family members and also for myself; I am a weakling. If I get a pain in my small toe I think I'm dying. My pain threshold is low, always has been. I still haven't forgiven my children for childbirth and they're both 48 at the end of this month. No, they're not twins, there's ten months one week and three days between them. Lordy, I don't know how that happened! Only joking; I do forgive them sort of. They have both made up for it big style and it's Mothers’ day soon and I’ll get lovely things again. Hahaha!
Whatever happens, stay safe, folks. Just to say that in my next post I'll be putting up the recipe for the delicious red pepper lasagne I made in the farm shop on Monday and Tuesday, where we are selling individual slices at £2.99, with a free toilet roll! The queue was out the door and around the block. (Only joking again!)
Friday 13th of march – the day after the announcement
Ah well, I guess I was a bit off beam, folks, but I don't think I was alone in my thinking. There has been quite a reaction to Boris’s decisions or lack of them today. Professor John Ashton (former Director of Public health
in the North East) on Question Time last night made a ferocious attack on the government for not following the example of other countries and closing schools colleges and universities as well as cancelling large gatherings such as Cheltenham today. This event is the biggest gathering of English and Irish people in the
year, all jostling shoulder to shoulder, shouting and roaring and the rest, under the influence of alcohol and most likely with scant regard to health and hygiene. Also, this morning the ex-Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt said that the government was not doing enough.
Finally - I kind of guess why the decision not to close schools has been made at the moment in any case. Such a high proportion of grandparents would end up looking after their grandchildren and this age group, we are being repeatedly told, are the most vulnerable. Looking after grandchildren is no joke either; it's demanding and stressful. If the elderly are supposed to be looking after themselves grandchildren should not be in the equation. Maybe children are better off at school where if they infect each other it won't be as dangerous among that age group. Hopefully children will shake it off.
